will refuse babymaking
regardless of how much
carrot-dangling the govt does.
it is one thing that
us children drain the hell
outta our parents' pockets,
catalyse their menopause
and aggravate whatever
socially-declared-undesirable
physical traits
(wrinkles, fats, balding etc)
maybe the bigger reason
is this:
while babies naturally are
miniature lovely things,
do contemplate their growth
beyond Age 5 for
a bite of reality.
that's when
they discover the ability
to express their
previously-latent
Very-Human Characteristics.
do we really need the furthur
manifestation of all
these warped
social norms that tend
to lead to more discomfort
than anything else
to members of humanity?
while some irritating happy
monsters lurking around
may want to contest this by
throwing in their
"Life has its share of Happy" shiz,
it has already
been established that
most of us struggle
before we reach the stage of
maturity when we can truly
be free and at peace with ourselves.
i don't think this has
much to do with whether or not
life itself is a happy affair,
but more of how it's our chronic
inability to be happy.
can you really bear to
introduce your bundle of joy
to the Pain you deal
with from time to time?
everyone has their pain
and sometimes i suspect
that pain comes in
different levels
that destructs in varying degrees.
you know how
some people's proclaimed pain
is more glamourous,
is healthy, somewhat useful,
for the PR,
can be talked about and will
be sympathised with.
they are in pain,
i don't take that away from them.
still the damage is limited,
because people will be
easy on them.
some other pain
has to do with
self-worth, dignity, shame.
this sort of pain
cannot be discussed,
will not be sympathised with,
and runs deeper
into one's self esteem.
i think i have been
in both ends before
so i can say i know.
anyone with some idea
about EQ will know that it is
no good to fuss excessively over
one's pain since
nobody is too interested in
giving as much sympathy
as they wish to receive.
and especially so since
as we come to terms with our own pain
we cannot run away from the
fact that sometimes,
we are the source of someone else's
pain.
all these pain!
How can you protect your
children from the
future that awaits them?
8:36 PM
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
跨一步 海阔天空2:19 PM
Saturday, July 26, 2008
a long aimless walkto nowhere
with the silliest plan
to accidentally allow it
to happen
and in the background
someone sings:
It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness gets us both
I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know
Everyday
With every word whispered we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing last forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
it was not happy
but they will just roll
their eyes
and tell you to
Get A Life.
it's so final,
it's sad.
10:18 PM
i honestly have been so
thoroughly jaded by
all these Adults' blatant
and appalling ignorance
that my conclusion is this:
the world is as difficult
a place to dwell in
because
screwed up Adults set the rules
to the operation of society.
it is in our culture
to respect people who are senior
because we are expected to
give them the benefit of doubt
that they are Older, Wiser
and therefore Will Make Better Decisions.
sadly and realistically,
age and maturity
seem to be mutually exclusive
in many cases that i have
personally encountered with.
some adults live 40, 50 years of
life being absolute
wastages of resources
since
all these consumption
have not done them any good
in terms of coming
closer to a Thoughtful Way of Life.
i, at 20,
don't claim to be all worldly wise
but at the very least
i am pretty well versed about the
theory part of how to
avoid being a wreckage.
which is more than i can say
for some of those
adult-wreckages.
i am a firm believer
of not attributing
all things bad to the
fault of the person-
i know that environment and
circumstance play a role in
screwing things up.
so to me, the state of the
person is not of
cardinal significance,
rather,
it is the attitude and
principles that one chooses
to adopt that makes the difference.
some adult-recalcitrants
live in this endless cycle of
Terrible, they
1) refuse to admit that they need
to solve the root problem,
2) expect that people are obligated
to clear the mess they've created
in the name of Family/Friend-foreverness.
2) refuse to help themselves,
3) refuse to come to terms with
their inner demons and
make an effort to be slightly better.
and then they
will have the nerve
to gripe excessive.
they are the
freakinn epidemic that
spread this Terrible
family to family,
generation after generation,
and maintain
this broken mess that this
part of the world is.
so
i don't see why
age should automatically
render you greater respect.
many people are just not
worth the while.
7:11 PM
some days
the world just crumbles.
9:36 AM
i am fully conscious of
the freak that i am.
i know how i ooze of hostility
when i am
stressed out/need to be alone/
trying to meet a deadline.
i will be silent, frowning and
irritable
even if the second before
we were all laughs.
i can be proud, selfish, judgmental,
unhappy, strange, lazy, petty, frivolous,
pretentious
and all the other assortments
of human ugliness
if i fall short of the
self control i try to maintain.
and so are you.
but
recently i learnt
the difference between
friends and The Others.
people in general
peeve me to no end,
but for the rare few
that i make mental-labels
as "friends"
all have their
One Thing Each
that makes them so kinda
freakin indispensable
to my wannabe-funky life.
and for The Others,
it's all just companionship
for the ego trip.
i don't have many
Friends in the truest sense of the word
but it will suffice
coz
sometimes i think i have
some helluva friends
(altho most other times
i feel
the great need to
kill them hahaha).
OK WHAT THE HECK
ALL U MORONS
I HOPE YOUR HEADS STOP SWELLING
END OF MY SOPPY DECLARATION OF LOVE
FOR ALL U SHIZZ
12:42 AM
Thursday, July 24, 2008
it's kinda awesomehow our World is as
epic and great as it is.
i can't quite describe the
sort of exhilaration
everytime i am on foreign land,
taking in every lil detail -
culture, history, weather,
people, food, lifestyle, norms...
you can draw so many similarities
across the world and yet,
at the same time,
appreciate how heterogeneous
the human race could be.
and then i come back home,
i see everything we do daily
in different light.
beauty comes in all sorts of
packages:
the white nights of st petersburg,
majestic islets of halong bay,
the beautiful greens of kampot
starry skies of nan,
and the beautiful night skyline
of singapore as we descend
into changi.
in more ways than one,
i feel blessed to have chanced
upon The Temp Job @ UTC
which taught me and brought me
to all of the stunning corners
of the world that
i wouldnt, with my own strength,
even come to know of.
OUR WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL,
people are the killjoy.
8:45 PM
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
freedom is:The Courage to be Yourself.
9:56 PM
Saturday, July 19, 2008
I MIGHT NOT KNOW YOU.all i know of you
is based on
mere intepretation
and mostly,
my wishful thinking.
i hope you are
as destructive and damaged
as i imagine you to be,
so then
i wont have to be
responsible for
poisoning your
Dammit Happy Life.
11:36 PM
Thursday, July 17, 2008
ok i realised how uncooli sounded in the previous post
getting emotional over Renci and shiz.
also, i should refuse to have
my opinions manipulated by
the media.
SO WHAT THE HECK
I SHALL RETURN TO MY SELFABSORBED-ness
AND..
FREAKS
abrsm exams TMR,
and altho i HAVE worked hard,
i will most certainly screw up
i will be so nervous
my fingers will just go into paralysis.
yes ADRENALINE>>>
flight or fight
OR FLOP
IM DEAD IM DEAD SHITZ IM DEAD
10:36 PM
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
all i am is justa maladjusted geek
struggling to make it good in
society
i am not a great or perfect person
and even
i have some sense to know
that
IF I WERE A MONK
I SHOULD AT LEAST PRETEND TO
UPHOLD SOME SORT OF FRIGGIN INTEGRITY
AND I SHOULD NOT
NEED THOSE SHITLOAD
OF MONEYS FROM THE POCKETS OF
NOT-VERY-RICH COMMON MAN
AND I SHOULD NOT
HAVE A PORN-WATCHING KID
AS MY ASSISTANT
BECAUSE IF I REALLY NEEDED
TO DO ALL OF THESE
I SHOULD NOT CHOOSE TO BE THIS
BUILDING-CLIMBING, STUNT-PERFORMING
BALD-MAN-IN-A-SAFFRON-ROBE
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
argh humanity's a bitch.
8:52 PM
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
"...SO WHAT DO YOU DOIN YOUR FREE TIME?"
damn this question
made by the 134813th
virtual stranger
trying to strike up a meaningful
conversation out of the
otherwise really freaky silence.
and damn the question
because i am absolutely unable
to give an honest answer
without sounding like an
old hag/freakinn geek/uncool oddball.
because in all seriousness
in my free time:
i like to be alone, read,
watch anything from documentaries to nonsense,
and do music stuff.
for the record
my current read is
Eiger Dreams which is a
mountaineering account
(YES SORRY
no romance novels/jap comics/whatever),
yesteday i
spent $XXX on 2 shows
out of the W!ld Rice's theatre festival
and
today i
rented DVDs:
Michael Moore's documentary-Sicko and
emo tearjerker film Away from Her.
and
i just
spent the last 2 hours
fixing Chopin, Scarlatti and Mozart
on the Welmar
and
when i was in town shopping
some days ago i was doing it alone.
YES I AM A BORE,
YOU CAN DESPISE ME,
DEAL WITH IT DAMMITZZZZ
9:43 PM
Sunday, July 13, 2008
maybe the problem is thatwe are at the age when
the pituitary secretes an
overabundance of those
hormones that
augment the subtler emotions
that were easier to ignore
some years back.
maybe it's all purely science,
but how do we artfully
avoid the damage it sometimes
does to the spirit?
the science works itself out
when things are good,
but
science forgot
to install the recovery mechanism
in us when good runs dry.
no matter how theoretical
or technical
i want to put it,
in truth,
it is just this simple:
it can only be as longdrawn and
painstaking as it has to be.
11:53 PM
you be brave.
11:32 AM
it happened again
so i just turned
and went the other way
12:07 AM
Friday, July 11, 2008
albums of our tripcourtesy of Maria:
ZILLION THANKS!!!!
Russia - Moscow
Russia - St Petersburg
Dubai
3:02 PM
Thursday, July 10, 2008
i read thatyou are Away and may not reply.
and that's all i know
about you
these days.
12:31 AM
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
soultalk islesser mortals
justifying their
secret hopes that underneath
the wholesome facade of the
richer, classier and smarter,
lie a living carnage of
wretched character and flawed personality.
this is a self-serving attribution
phenomenon
because it is just difficult
to believe
that we don't belong
to the better part of the world.
and if you think about
it realistically,
you would know that
accusing every seemingly perfect person
of being privately imperfect
would be equivalent to
conferring
every seemingly imperfect person
sainthood.
damn it, yes,
these people are real.
these hateful thoroughly
perfect people are real.
3:18 PM
Friday, July 04, 2008
how does this discomfortlook like in words?
it is less melodramatic than 'sad'
but uncomfortable enough to
keep me from being as ok as i
wish i could be.
there is no pride in
being so wrong and so pitifully pathetic.
those days we could say
that one day we'll grow out of it,
then today it is no longer
one of those juvenile issues we shelf
and know quite surely that it will pass.
it will pass
but while it's still here
i have trouble coping.
12:35 AM
Thursday, July 03, 2008
h is forhopeless.
11:51 PM
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
i am comic reliefAND
i am human.
11:35 AM
